


Even Vampires Need a Steady Income

by Redcognito



Category: Vampire Diaries - L. J. Smith
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, vampires are people too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-22
Updated: 2012-01-22
Packaged: 2017-10-29 23:01:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/325138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redcognito/pseuds/Redcognito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Damon's questionable methods of income.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even Vampires Need a Steady Income

_...her mighty bosom heaved, and her heart hammered with excitement as she stared up at the God who had pulled her from the gaping jaws of death. "My hero!" she panted, throwing herself into Rodriguez's tan, muscular arms..._

"Mighty bosom?" Stefan inquired from behind Damon's shoulder.

The elder Salvatore brother yelped and shot six feet up into the air. He'd been so absorbed in his creative endeavour that he hadn't noticed Stefan creep up behind him.

"Just what are you up to, Damon?" Green eyes flicked over the screen. Damon glared down at him from where he was still clutching onto the lighting fixture. "Wait...Maria Susette? Isn't she the main character in those trashy romance novels Elena's always reading? You're writing fan fiction?"

"Elena reads my novels?" Damon asked, surprised, dropping down from the ceiling to land in his chair again. Stefan gave him a puzzled look. Damon winced, "Um, I mean, Elena reads trashy romance novels?"

" _You_ wrote those novels?" Stefan asked incredulously.

"Ah, well, you see..."

" _You_ , Damon Salvatore, Prince of Darkness, write trashy romance novels?"

Damon ran his fingers through his hair, disgruntled that his Big Secret was out. "Well... yes."

Stefan stared at him for a moment longer, before breaking out into raucous laughter.

"It isn't actually that amusing," Damon muttered testily. "I need an income from somewhere. How else could I afford the Ferrari?"

Stefan simply responded by howling louder. "Boy, you wait until I tell Elena." After a few moments, his legs gave out, and he rolled around on the floor in hysterics, tears rolling down his cheeks.


End file.
